Divorce and Parenting Plan Advice

Questioner

Good afternoon, my wife announced last October that she wanted to divorce. We have 2 children together; a 2-year-old boy and a 3.5-year-old girl. We also own a house together. We have now engaged a mediator, but we are currently stuck. We have drawn up a parenting plan that my (ex-)wife initially agreed with. Due to certain influences from the family circle, she has now changed her mind and is still in doubt. The issue is where the children will be registered: our mediator advised to register each child at his/her address because of the most favourable tax advantage. Our parenting plan states that the children will be with the mother during the week and with the father (me) in 3 out of 4 weekends per month. At the moment, my (ex-)wife is still looking for a home and still lives with me. Last week she was allowed to receive an urgent declaration. Now my (ex-)wife is backing out because she does not trust it if 1 child is registered with me. She would prefer that both children are registered with her. And that is what I do not want, because of the (considerable) tax advantage that I would miss out on. To what extent can I force her to sign this parenting plan, since she initially agreed to it? Suppose my wife is assigned a home next week; can I then refuse to pay alimony because we are still officially married? And what about the visitation arrangement with the children if we are not yet divorced and she lives on her own? Can she become annoying by limiting my contact with our children? We both do not have the financial means to hire a lawyer, so I actually want to prevent that, but I am now in a position that I cannot move forward with. I would like your response.

Lawyer

Thank you for your question. Given the fact that you are still married and the divorce documents (parenting plan) are not yet final, you cannot yet formally hold each other to the provisional agreements. As long as you are still married, you must also continue to support each other. If you do not do so, your partner can claim alimony (via the court), even if you are married. Furthermore, I recommend that you register the children at the address where they have their main residence. If you arrange this differently, you risk a fine from the Tax Authorities, because you are providing an incorrect statement.