How to draw up a good parenting plan in the event of a relationship breakdown?

Questioner

I have 3 boys aged 10, 3 and 1 with my current partner, with whom I have been together for 15 years. The relationship has not been going well for a long time and since the arrival of our 3rd son (which was not planned) it has actually only gotten worse. I have now reached the point where I can no longer stay in this relationship. However, I do not know how to end this relationship without it becoming ugly for the children. The situation is as follows: we both have our own homes. So we are not registered as partners or anything like that. He has a social housing unit, but mainly stays with me without contributing financially to the fixed costs or groceries. I have a home I own. Our eldest son is registered with him, but mainly stays with me. The youngest 2 boys live with me and are registered with me. He does not work. He receives benefits and he also receives the child-related budget for our eldest son (which he keeps for himself). I work full-time and have a permanent contract. Despite the fact that I have a good job with an income that one would say is a good income and that you should not have any trouble making ends meet, I have trouble making ends meet every month. The main reason for this is that I have a partner who is addicted, cannot handle money well and does not contribute financially. I have tried for a long time to deal with this and to improve it, but unfortunately without success. Now I have reached the point where I can no longer live like this, otherwise I will end up with a burn-out and lose everything I have built up in my life so far, which is the foundation for our children. The problem I'm facing is that I don't know how to best approach this. In addition, I earn too much (on paper) every time for free help, but I don't have the money to hire a mediator. So I hope you can help me, even if it's just pointing me in the right direction.

Lawyer

I advise you to schedule a meeting with a lawyer to discuss your situation. The lawyer will provide legal advice during the meeting, but can also check for you whether you are eligible for subsidized legal aid. The lawyer can also take any further steps, if necessary. You can contact 0800 - 882 443 or send an e-mail to info@echtscheidingswinkel.nl for a no-obligation appointment to discuss your rights.