Transgressive behavior by manager

Questioner

In a conversation with my manager I indicated that I wanted to step out of the conversation for a moment because it was getting too much for me and I was getting angry. This was to prevent it from escalating. I then went for a walk. When I came back my manager wanted to force me to talk to her again, to which I indicated that I did not want to talk to her anymore at that moment because my emotions were too high. I calmly kept repeating this and indicated my boundaries more often. She did not agree with this and started shouting that I had to listen to her because she was my manager and I had to respect her. It went so hard that several colleagues came to see what was going on. She kept shouting bright red, trembling and completely beside herself that I now had to go into 'that cubicle' with her. I calmly refused and wanted to go back to the department and was walking up the stairs when she pulled me by my arm. That's when I got really angry and shouted back that she had to keep her fingers off me. I could not move freely because she blocked me and did not let me go anywhere. Someone from HR had to come and escort me upstairs. There are multiple witnesses to all this. My external confidant indicates that my manager has been guilty of inappropriate behavior, intimidation and abuse of power. I had to tell my story to another person from HR (she is good friends with my manager), under the guise of impartial hearing. She also wanted to talk to my manager to hear her side of the story. What turns out, she says that I threatened her! When I indicate that this is really not true and that there are witnesses to this, the HR lady says that everyone experiences it in their own way. And she refuses to hear the witnesses. I called my manager's manager and he is in cahoots with my manager and the HR lady. The three of them now want to talk to me, probably to destroy me. I am also not allowed to bring anyone to the conversation. When I appeal to the procedure that was written by the company itself when it comes to these kinds of incidents, they completely ignore it. I said that I wanted to appeal to 'professional help' as described in the form of a mediator and they refused. Also, nowhere in that process does it say that someone from HR will guide this situation. I indicated that I want to follow the protocol as described in order to arrive at a fair and just solution and that they need to rewrite their own documents if they do not adhere to it. They have already threatened several times that if I do not cooperate in the way they want us to, we will soon have completely different conversations. My confidant supports me where he can because it has been going on for a month since the incident, but I am the one who has to decide what I want and what I agree to and in what form. They put me under enormous pressure and the worst thing is that I am being wrongfully accused of something I did not do and that my manager, the HR lady and my manager's manager know that very well. If my manager had simply apologized, I would have accepted that, I will never forget this, but then we could have continued. Only now I am being pointed out as the person who is making a big fuss about it. Unfortunately I do not have legal expenses insurance for this kind of conflict, I thought I did but this was not covered by the legal expenses insurance that I have. I actually do not want to accept this but I do not know what to do because I am afraid that I will be fired, even though I have a permanent contract. Can I file a complaint against her? What am I entitled to? Do I have to agree with how they want it?

Lawyer

You should attend the meeting and give your view of the matter during that meeting. You could ask if it is okay for you to record the meeting, if you are not allowed to bring anyone. It is important that you provide written witness statements as soon as possible. If a proposal of any kind is made to you during the meeting, I advise you not to accept it without further ado, but to seek advice from an employment law specialist beforehand. This also applies to any later (written) proposals that are made. If you would like to discuss the matter without obligation, please feel free to call me (06-30575754).