Help with co-parenting and legal questions

Questioner

Since I have been divorced from my wife since 2013. We have a daughter who is 10 years old at the time of writing. The relationship between my ex and me has been tense from the beginning. Several attempts have been made on my part to maintain good contact, at least as parents. We have co-parenting with the arrangement that one daughter stays with one of the parents every other week (Monday to Monday). Out of nowhere, after the holidays, my daughter tells me that she no longer wants to stay with me. For no apparent reason. This has happened in the past and it turned out that the mother had made statements such as; 'daddy doesn't want to take care of you' 'daddy can't take care of you' etc. After a few weeks of drama, I impulsively gave in to everything and let her go with mom on Wednesday. From that moment on, mother does everything she can to keep me away from her under the guise of 'giving her some peace.' After a week I had a conversation with both of them about how to proceed and indicated that of course things could not continue this way. I have a duty to care for her and she cannot decide for herself where she wants to stay and where not. This has completely disrupted the relationship between my mother and me and she has indicated that she absolutely disagrees with it. I personally have the feeling that there is again a lot of tension in the relationship between me and my daughter. After the conversation, this was fueled by the attitude that my mother suddenly adopted towards me (very hostile), but also by the reproachful attitude towards my daughter. Ultimately, what I am doing is acting on very strong suspicions without any evidence. But how can I prove this? I have of course already taken several steps in the past, but always with the fact that I want her to stay with both parents. A lawyer once pushed for me to go for full custody, but that was never my starting point. I have also made reports to social neighborhood teams, asked for help from social neighborhood teams, etc.) But now I'm starting to get seriously concerned that things aren't right. That a form of deliberate disruption is taking place and that my ex shows no regard whatsoever for her duty of care; In my opinion, Article 247 paragraph 3 is seriously violated. But suspicions alone won't get you far and social neighbourhood teams and the like also indicate that they can't do anything about this. In short: -What can I do with all this? -Should I still follow the advice to go for full custody? -What can I do with my suspicions so that action IS taken? (even if it is just an investigation). -How can I use legal means to prevent this form of abuse (because that is in fact what it is; pointing to parental alienation syndrome, withdrawal from parental authority, etc.)? Because so far I am faced with the facts that I: A) I am a man/father (which doesn't work very much in my favor in these matters and the current law) B) this is (partly due to point A) often seen as a kind of cover to thwart the mother. And to what extent do personal educational visions pale in comparison to the judiciary if it should ever come to that?

Lawyer

This is a very unpleasant situation for you and apparently you have tried to resolve it between yourselves but have not succeeded. Under these circumstances, legal proceedings could be instituted in which you then request compliance with the co-parenting arrangement that was customary until recently. In that procedure, it can also be requested that you both cooperate in the use of assistance to improve the mutual situation and to prevent your daughter from getting into a bind between her two parents. Parenting can still be set up in this way, for example, or mediation or another similar use of assistance. Assistance may also have to be provided for your daughter to teach her how to find her way in this. If desired, you can contact me.