What to do if your ex-partner does not move?

Questioner

On April 18, 2016, my ex's divorce was registered in the municipal registers. We own a home - in the prenuptial agreement the division was already 60/40 because I already had a mortgage - which can now be transferred entirely to my name by means of a portion of the repayment and the redemption of the savings mortgage that has been in my name since '97. The agreement states that my ex-husband must have left the 'marital home' within 3 months of registering the divorce. Our relationship is still good, but if this house is completely in my name, I obviously don't want to live here together forever: it's not for nothing that we got divorced... Renting is difficult for him, but buying is also difficult because he has no resources of his own and has always rented before our marriage (2013). So it is difficult to find housing. But what can I do if my ex-husband has not yet left by July 18 (= 3 months after registration of divorce)? He does search, but not very purposefully: I have the impression that he is fine with it this way: the divorce was initially my 'initiative', but the procedure went through mediation because it was certainly not a 'contested divorce'. We don't have any children. What can I do if I really want him to leave the house and he isn't taking any concrete steps? Of course I don't want to just throw him out on the street, but if this house is mine, I would like him to have his own living space and for us to live separately. Soon the house will be fully in my name. Does he still have any rights? Or can I - if I can't convince him - also have the locks replaced? Don't get me wrong: I wish him the best and hope for a nice place of his own, but I have always arranged things here, because he simply doesn't care: very easy-going. That cost us our marriage, among other things, and I just want to get on with my life and live in this house alone. I hope my question is clear, it's really difficult, maybe sometimes precisely because we don't hate each other... But my ex lets everything take its course, doesn't look after finances etc., so I want to gradually get my own rhythm, life and home in order. He will have to leave the house: what can and may I do????

Lawyer

Summon him to leave the house because he is staying there at the moment without any right. You have granted him a reasonable time but he does not use it, the obligation to care for each other ends at some point, certainly in the case of having to live together against your will.

Questioner

Thanks for the answer, the quick response too! Of course, according to the agreement, my ex still has time until July 18, 2016 at the latest (= 3 months after registration of divorce). That is also why I have now asked this question: because everything is now final, the financing for this house can and will be arranged for me. From that moment on, the house is completely mine. Of course I can do what I want, even sell. Only it is so difficult to make it clear to someone you don't hate that a divorce with agreements made has consequences. Legal ones too. Because I understood that even though we are divorced, we are only no longer fiscal partners after he has another home. I find that strange, because if I were to temporarily let someone stay in my house, we would not be fiscal partners either. But when it comes to your ex-partner, who you want to treat decently, you apparently remain 'connected to each other', even though a divorce indicates that there is no longer a marriage or partnership. Hence my question, because if the term has expired and I really want my ex to move, I do not want to run the risk that he would then have certain rights in the sense of 'renting' or something like that The agreement also states that he must continue to contribute to the household costs until he moves into his own home, which he does, but it does not seem reasonable to me that this would immediately give him rights. I honestly think that if it really got to that point, it would be difficult to summon him, because although he is a nice guy, he is not really active in such things, and when he is under pressure he does not seem to 'function' at all. That is one of the reasons why I did everything very gradually. But when I really want to build my own life and move on, that should of course be possible. It's just a big concern: finding a home is incredibly difficult, my ex and I still get along well enough and wish each other the best, so I don't want to simply throw him out, but these 2 things together don't make it any easier... Sounds strange, but sometimes it seems easier when you really can't stand each other anymore: then things move faster because you want to move on as soon as possible. My ex still loves me, did not want a divorce and is therefore certainly not actively looking for a place to live. In any case, I will remember that I can eventually summon him, that this is my 'right', no matter how difficult that may be.... Perhaps it would also be a good idea for me to contact our municipality to ask to what extent we are fiscal partners/cohabiting now that we are divorced but still live at the same address. I assume we are not the only ones in this situation?

Lawyer

You can still choose a fiscal partnership in the year of divorce, think about that when you have to file your 2016 tax return. I think that you should be clear about the rest, possibly by means of a conversation with a mediator and well before your ex has to leave the house so that firm agreements can be made.

Questioner

Thanks for the answer, the quick response too! Of course, according to the agreement, my ex still has time until July 18, 2016 at the latest (= 3 months after registration of divorce). That is also why I have now asked this question: because everything is now final, the financing for this house can and will be arranged for me. From that moment on, the house is completely mine. Of course I can do what I want, even sell. Only it is so difficult to make it clear to someone you don't hate that a divorce with agreements made has consequences. Legal ones too. Because I understood that even though we are divorced, we are only no longer fiscal partners after he has another home. I find that strange, because if I were to temporarily let someone stay in my house, we would not be fiscal partners either. But when it comes to your ex-partner, who you want to treat decently, you apparently remain 'connected to each other', even though a divorce indicates that there is no longer a marriage or partnership. Hence my question, because if the term has expired and I really want my ex to move, I do not want to run the risk that he would then have certain rights in the sense of 'renting' or something like that The agreement also states that he must continue to contribute to the household costs until he moves into his own home, which he does, but it does not seem reasonable to me that this would immediately give him rights. I honestly think that if it really got to that point, it would be difficult to summon him, because although he is a nice guy, he is not really active in such things, and when he is under pressure he does not seem to 'function' at all. That is one of the reasons why I did everything very gradually. But when I really want to build my own life and move on, that should of course be possible. It's just a big concern: finding a home is incredibly difficult, my ex and I still get along well enough and wish each other the best, so I don't want to simply throw him out, but these 2 things together don't make it any easier... Sounds strange, but sometimes it seems easier when you really can't stand each other anymore: then things move faster because you want to move on as soon as possible. My ex still loves me, did not want a divorce and is therefore certainly not actively looking for a place to live. In any case, I will remember that I can eventually summon him, that this is my 'right', no matter how difficult that may be.... Perhaps it would also be a good idea for me to contact our municipality to ask to what extent we are fiscal partners/cohabiting now that we are divorced but still live at the same address. I assume we are not the only ones in this situation?