Surrendering Parents: Options and Legal Profession

Questioner

I would like to give up my parents. Can this just happen?

Lawyer

Once you are born, the mother is automatically a parent. If she is married to someone, the man is automatically a parent too. Even if the mother has a relatively intimate relationship with, for example, neighbor Frits. If the mother is not married, but the father recognizes the child: still two parents. And that's what you have to do. Various obligations follow from this parenthood, for example to support you. Parents may also make decisions on your behalf: up to the age of 18, you are not yet fully 'legally competent'. If you buy a car as a 13 year old boy, then mother can go to the car dealer and say that the agreement is void. You are not qualified to buy a car at that age. To the point. Parents have quite a lot to say and are also responsible for the child. Can you then give up the parents? In principle, relinquishing one's parents is not possible. However, there are possibilities to get close. First of all, it is possible to request the judge to treat a 16/17-year-old as an adult (freedom of man). This creates opportunities to make all kinds of agreements for which the parents first had to give permission. Such as buying a car or a house. If you really want to give up your parents, then a deprivation of parental authority is essential. In this way, you ensure that your parents no longer have the rights and obligations that parents normally have until the age of 18 (and in some cases 21). In the event of complete deprivation, you can ensure that your parents are no longer allowed to raise you: you are 'allowed' to leave the house. For example, parental authority can be revoked if parents are drug addicts or abuse their children. That is where the possibilities lie. In particular, abuse or sexual abuse can be a direct reason to remove a child from a family. If that is the case, then a deprivation of parental authority is relatively simple. This can be arranged via a family doctor, a teacher or the police. In a few cases in the Netherlands, children have wrongly accused parents of very bad parenting. This has not only led to the removal of parental authority, but even to prison sentences. Even if you just hate your parents, there are options. Go to a teacher or confidant and show them the bruises. Come up with a good story that both parents are drunk and under the influence of cocaine and yell at you almost every night and also give you blows every other day. Guaranteed success. A child with a good story is immediately believed. Conclusion: You can more or less renounce your parents. With a deprivation of parental authority you can ensure that your parents can do practically nothing anymore. But.... If you only have a (temporary) dislike for your parents, then a trajectory within Youth Care (if you are placed outside the home) is not really recommended. In extreme circumstances this can be a good alternative. For the rest it is anything but nice. You simply get a new 'parent' in the form of a woman in menopause with too much work pressure and almost a burn-out. Who then decides what happens to you. If there are really valid reasons to 'give up' parents, then this should of course be discussed. A teacher, a doctor, or someone you know can then take action. I assume the question was meant to be funny. I have given a detailed and practical answer. Since there is hardly any background, I want to emphasize that if there are serious problems, there are several ears that can listen to a story. Good luck with the parents!