Alimony and the right to information: Your questions answered

Questioner

I have been paying maintenance for my son for 17 years, but I have not had any contact with him since he was 12. He is now 19 years old. I do not know what he is doing at the moment, they say he is following a training course, but where, how and how long that training lasts, I do not know. I am fully complying with the obligation to pay, but can you advise me whether I have the right to know what my son is doing at the moment and whether he still lives at home and whether I cannot transfer the maintenance directly to him?

Lawyer

You can choose to stop the alimony, given the fact that he is of age. If he then claims that he still wants a contribution from you, then he must indicate what his income needs are. He must specify that. What he is short of must then be divided between you and your ex according to your mutual ability to pay.

Questioner

I just want to know if I have the right to transfer the maintenance contribution directly to my son and no longer to my ex. I have asked for my son's account number but have not received anything yet. Am I punishable if I no longer want to transfer the maintenance contribution to my ex?

Lawyer

You are not liable to prosecution. Child support for children between the ages of 18 and 21 must be paid directly to the child by law.

Questioner

I have transferred the maintenance payments to my ex since my son turned 18, but I don't know whether my son actually received that money. If so, can I object to it and, if so, to whom?

Lawyer

For this, it is best to contact your son. If the money was received by your ex and it was spent on your son's expenses, there is of course nothing wrong. The advice is therefore to pay directly to your son.

Questioner

Since I don't know where and how I can reach my son, it will be very difficult because my ex refuses to give me information about my son and according to her lawyer I have no right to it or I have to start proceedings because she says if my ex doesn't want that, she doesn't have to give me that information unless I hire a lawyer. Is it the case in the Netherlands that fathers only have the obligation to pay but have no right to information about their own children, I am a supervising guardian.

Lawyer

Again, I would suggest that you consider not paying child support so that your son can contact you himself to make his needs clear. You do not need to contact your ex; your son is an adult.

Questioner

I still have not received any information from and about my son, I only received a note from my ex with my son's account number on it and nothing else. Now my question is can my son have my wages seized, according to my ex's lawyer yes, and what should I do if I do not hear anything from my son.